A NEW STAR IS BORN—

THE ZODIAC CHANGES FOREVER!                                                                          By Ric Polansky  Ó

At coffee, in the morning hours, nothing delights me more than to be surrounded by familiar faces, albeit, wrinkled and squinting; definitely not yet in control of their faculties nor in possession of the only newspaper which I hold begrudgingly. With the mornings print in hand I am lord of the universe, purveyor of tragic events, reader of the destiny of nations; town crier to the world. It’s a terrific job for a person of unassuming importance. As long as I clutch the banner of the printed word even a commoner like myself has veracity. I am their direction in life; North, East, West and South—I am their NEWS.

If our tables gossip isn’t rife and eye popping I can lead the java forum with what appears to be quips and insights from some of the local pages. I enjoy myself by reading to my audience selected facts and information often changing the stories outcome by omitting a word or three. When I want to make the story more interesting I add annotations that aren’t really part of the original story.  Usually, I am condemned to speak the full truth and nothing but the truth. That is always depressing. Tabloids or broad sheets are always full with more killings, rapes, robberies and other daily disappointments. Newspapers are almost never a good start to a bright and sunny Spanish day. 

So, being of an innate sympathetic and generous demeanor I quickly turn to that one particular column that delights everyone: virile construction men already smelly on their way to work, old ladies reeking of cheap perfume, smart ass kids and the two surrounding tables. The column I read is not the comics, nor the sports. No, what everyone’s compulsion is to listen to something about themselves; black and white and read all over. What else better than their personal futures always penned in a positive mood. It is a rare individual indeed that doesn’t know his adjudicated star sign; the tale of his destiny pinned to an archaic belief we commonly refer to as the Zodiac. Just the mere suggestion of reciting their celestial predetermination brings a glitter of gleam to even the worst blood shot eyes.   

“Oh, I’m a Pisces”, says the pert young lass, who definitely does drink like a fish. And then I proceed to read “a  horoscope”. You will notice that I have cleverly avoided saying “her sign”. Because, I never proclaim to the victim their correct sign. It is just part of my unnatural nature. I take great pride and indeed honor in acclaiming to my credulous prey some other sign. Any other horoscope but theirs. And, invariably, whatever heavenly tiding I do belch forth the unsuspecting victim sits in rapt attention, shrieks in delight and always confirms my blatant lie.

“Yup, yup, that’s me, it fits me perfectly, perfectly” she squeals, “don’t you think so?” She then giggles and fidgets with her dress.

All of her life’s problems solved by someone reading a few banal hackneyed trivial words that could pertain to anyone and in fact--do. Nevertheless, I smile and agree. She laughs again and tugs at the hem of her skirt once again. I smirk and feel I’ve conquered the world of un-cerebral thought. I’ve flipped scientific mental process upside down.  “Caidoz” I whisper just under my breath. Naturally, it’s zodiac backwards. But she doesn’t know that. I’ve topsy-turned the heavens.

The power of the Zodiac is as such that if one person is asked their star sign everyone else within listening distance must blurt forth their own hallowed badge of distinction as if to confirm their heavenly wisdom or lose it forever.

Historically zodiacal signs originated in Mesopotamia, probably as early as 2400 BC. The Greeks adopted the symbols from the Babylonians and passed them on to the other ancient civilizations. The Egyptians assigned other names and symbols to the horoscope. The Chinese also adopted the 12-fold division, but called the signs rat, ox, tiger, hare, dragon, serpent, horse, sheep, monkey, hen, dog, and pig. And independently, the Aztec Indians devised a similar system of twelve as did those on the Nasca plains of Peru.

Your own particular horoscope, initiates with your birth. It’s importance is calculable by measuring the angles of the dangles of where you were born, where all the other constellations were at that important moment, the position of the rising moon, the whereabouts of the setting sun and timely intrusion of your family doctor and whether he actually filled the precise or estimated time of actuality.

The beauty, the ingenuity, the secret celestial blessings that the signs mystically convey are in reality indelibly corrupted from the beginning. The construction of your personal horoscope is based on the antiquated Polemic system, in which the earth is stationary and the heavenly bodies move around it in fixed patterns. Ancient astrologers divided the heavens into twelve sections, each thought to be ruled by a different sign of the zodiac. Hence a belt was created which the sun, moon, and planets moved in twelve fixed positions called houses. Once the particular sign and house are known the mythological characteristics long ago established and associated take control. Your life is geometrical proscribed, foretold and predestined.

Now this is all well and good if you believe in ASTROLOGY, that is, that planetary stages govern and influence terrestrial emotions and personal fortunes. Starry romanticism at it’s glowing best is the refute. Astronomy is the science of studying the stars, motions and matter.

Recently scientists  are contending that the ancients have ALWAYS BEEN in error. That there are not just twelve houses, but thirteen. The new one being (discovered a few years back but always there) is called OPHIUCHUS (ah-fe-you-cus). A constellation in the equatorial region near Hercules and Scorpius. [Latin Ophiúchus, from Greek ophioukhos : ophis, serpent + okhos, holder, from ekhein, to hold.] Yup, you´re readin´ correctly, I am giving you a harvest of snakes, a handful of serpents!

And with the recent finding of a tenth planet (and most likely an eleventh and twelfth on the verge of being named too) our antiquated beliefs are imploding just behind our eyebrows.

Sad for some. All this “new scientific knowledge” seems so sterile and impersonal. Especially following 4000 plus years of ingrained belief or at least wishful thinking. But, not for me. You see, I am no longer a virgin but have now been elevated to the worthy and conquering heights of a LEO the lion.

Find out who you really are:

OPHIUCHUS arrives November 30th—18th of December. Consequently all star signs change. Here’s your new sign (you can thank me later):

Aquarius: Water Carrier (22 days)-February 16 to March 11 

Pisces: The Fishes (38 days)- March 12 to April 18 

Aries: The Ram (25 days)- April 19 to May 13 

Taurus: The Bull (44 days)- May 14 to June 19 

Gemini: The Twins (28 days)- June 20 to July 20 

Cancer: The Crab (20 days)- July 21 to August 9 

Leo: The Lion (36 days)- August 10 to September 15 

Virgo: The Virgin (43 days)- September 16 to October 30

Libra: The Scales (21 days)- October 31 to November 22

Scorpio:The Scorpion (6 days)- November 23 to November 29

Ophiuchus: The Physician November 30 to December 17

Sagittarius:The Archer (38 days)- December 18 to January 18

Capricorn:The Goat (27 days)- January 19 to February 15